Grunnen til at man blir emosjonell når temaet pedofili bringes opp er nettopp det at det ligger innebygd i vår psyke at det å voldta eller narre barn til å ha sex med seg det er galt, så galt som noe kan bli, det strider mot all sunn fornuft.

Jeg kan forstå at det å være pedofil kan være vondt når samfunnet ser på det som noe motbydelig, men hva er viktigst, å beskytte barna våre eller utvide rettighetene til de pedofile ? For meg er svaret innlysende, barna er første prioritet.

Man må selvfølgelig også ha klare beviser for at noen har begått overgrep før man kan beskylde dem for å ha begått overgrep. Å bli beskyldt for å være overgriper uten at man er det vil jeg tro at er like grusomt som å være offer for overgrep.

Pedofile kan ikke kureres, når de først har begynt å forgripe seg så slutter de ikke, de får mersmak for det de har begynt med. Ikke alle pedofile begår overgrep, men når man går fra å være en pedofil som ikke har begått overgrep til en som gjør det, så leter vedkommende etter lette ofre, ofre som er enkle å manipulere og som fysisk er svakere enn overgriperen. En overgriper er ikke interessert i mentalt sterke personer, overgriperen er på jakt etter noen han kan kontrollere.

Overgriperen kan være hvem som helst, han kan være din beste venn, en arbeidskollega eller ektemann, utseende og oppførsel vil ikke avsløre ham.

Blir overgriperen tatt, så vil han forsøke å legge skylden på offeret, si at det var offeret som fristet han, beskrive overgrepene han har begått som mindre betydningsfulle enn det de i realiteten er, skylde på problemer i hverdagslivet og at de var de utløsende faktorene til at overgrepene begynte. Overgriperen kan også si at dette var noe de begge ville, at offeret samtykket, og har overgriperne selv vært utsatt for overgrep da de var barn så bruker de ofte det som argument og unnskyldning for at de selv har begått overgrep. De prøver å minimalisere sine handlinger og skyver så mye som mulig av ansvaret over på den de har forgrepet seg på.

Pedofili blir av enkelte ansett som en legning, men det er en psykiatrisk diagnose på et seksuelt avvik. Forskjellen mellom å være heterofil, homofil og pedofil er som natt og dag og egentlig innlysende. Når det gjelder heterofili og homofili, så er den viktigste faktoren frivillighet mellom dem som skal ha sex med hverandre, det er ikke tilfelle når det gjelder pedofili, med mindre man tar i betraktning hva den pedofile anser som frivillighet, og som jeg har beskrevet over her så oppfatter de jo virkeligheten på en helt annen måte en hva en ikkepedofil gjør.

En voksen som vil ha sex med et barn, må enten få det til ved manipulering eller ved hjelp av fysisk makt. Det er de eneste to metodene et voksent menneske kan tilegne seg sex med et barn på, og det er ikke barnet som er ansvarlig for å si stopp eller nei, det hele og fulle ansvaret ligger hos den voksne, og kan ikke den voksne se det, så har den voksne et stort problem og er derfor et farlig individ som samfunnet ikke er tjent med å ha løs blant andre mennesker. 

Pedofile ser ut til å ha en manglende empati for sine ofre, noe som også er fremtredende hos psykopater og narsissister:

“Paedophiles seem to have narcissistic and antisocial (psychopathic) traits. They lack empathy for their victims and express no remorse for their actions. They are in denial and, being pathological confabulators, they rationalize their transgressions, claiming that the children were merely being educated for their own good and, anyhow, derived great pleasure from it.

The paedophile?s ego-syntony (in ego psychology, used to describe behaviour that does not conflict with somebody’s basic attitudes and beliefs and, therefore, is not anxiety-provoking) rests on his alloplastic (intended to bring about a change in a patient’s mental condition through changing his or her external circumstances) defences. He generally tends to blame others (or the world or the “system”) for his misfortunes, failures, and deficiencies. Paedophiles frequently accuse their victims of acting promiscuously, of “coming on to them”, of actively tempting, provoking, and luring (or even trapping) them.

The paedophile – similar to the autistic patient – misinterprets the child’s body language and inter-personal cues. His social communication skills are impaired and he fails to adjust information gained to the surrounding circumstances (for instance, to the child’s age and maturity).

The paedophile makes frequent (though unconscious) use of projection and projective identification in his relationships with children. He makes his victims treat him the way he views himself – or attributes to them traits and behaviours that are truly his.

The paedophile is aware of society’s view of his actions as vile, corrupt, forbidden, evil, and decadent (especially if the paedophiliac act involves incest). He derives pleasure from the sleazy nature of his pursuits because it tends to sustain his view of himself as “bad”, “a failure”, “deserving of punishment”, and “guilty”.

In extreme (mercifully uncommon) cases, the paedophile projects these torturous feelings and self-perceptions onto his victims. The children defiled and abused by his sexual attentions thus become “rotten”, “bad objects”, guilty and punishable. This leads to sexual sadism, lust rape, and snuff murders.

The paedophile treats “his” chosen child as an object, an extension of himself, devoid of a separate existence and denuded of distinct needs. He finds the child’s submissiveness and gullibility gratifying. He frowns on any sign of personal autonomy and regards it as a threat. By intimidating, cajoling, charming, and making false promises, the abuser isolates his prey from his family, school, peers, and from the rest of society and, thus, makes the child’s dependence on him total.

To the paedophile, the child is a “transitional object” – a training ground on which to exercise his adult relationship skills. The paedophile erroneously feels that the child will never betray and abandon him, therefore guaranteeing “object constancy”.

The paedophile ? stealthily but unfailingly ? exploits the vulnerabilities in the psychological makeup of his victim. The child may have low self-esteem, a fluctuating sense of self-worth, primitive defence mechanisms, phobias, mental health problems, a disability, a history of failure, bad relations with parents, siblings, teachers, or peers, or a tendency to blame herself, or to feel inadequate (autoplastic neurosis). The child may come from an abusive family or environment ? which conditioned her or him to expect abuse as inevitable and “normal”.

The paedophile is the guru at the centre of a cult. Like other gurus, he demands complete obedience from his “partner”. He feels entitled to adulation and special treatment by his child-mate. He punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline.

The child finds himself in a twilight zone. The paedophile imposes on him a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, “enemies”, mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted. The child is rendered the joint guardian of a horrible secret.

The paedophile?s control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines rights and obligations and alters them at will.

The typical paedophile is a micro-manager. He exerts control over the minutest details and behaviours. He punishes severely and abuses withholders of information and those who fail to conform to his wishes and goals.

The paedophile does not respect the boundaries and privacy of the (often reluctant and terrified) child. He ignores his or her wishes and treats children as objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both situations and people compulsively.

Narcissistic paedophiles claim to be infallible, superior, talented, skilful, omnipotent, and omniscient. They often lie and confabulate to support these unfounded claims and to justify their actions. Most paedophiles suffer from cognitive deficits and reinterpret reality to fit their fantasies.

The paedophile regards sex with children as an ego-booster.

Subteen children are, by definition, “inferior”. They are physically weaker, dependent on others for the fulfilment of many of their needs, cognitively and emotionally immature, and easily manipulated. Their fund of knowledge is limited and their skills restricted. His relationships with children buttress the paedophile?s twin grandiose delusions of omnipotence and omniscience. Compared to his victims, the paedophiles is always the stronger, the wiser, the most skilful and well-informed.

Inevitably, the paedophile considers his child-victims to be his best friends and companions. Paedophiles are lonely, erotomanic (Excessive sexual desire), people.

The paedophile believes that he is in love with (or simply loves) the child. Sex is merely one way to communicate his affection and caring. But there are other venues.

To show his keen interest, the common paedophile keeps calling the child, dropping by, writing e-mails, giving gifts, providing services, doing unsolicited errands “on the child’s behalf”, getting into relationships with the preteen’s parents, friends, teachers, and peers, and, in general, making himself available (stalking) at all times. The paedophile feels free to make legal, financial, and emotional decisions for the child.

The paedophile intrudes on the victim’s privacy, disrespects the child’s express wishes and personal boundaries and ignores his or her emotions, needs, and preferences. To the paedophile, “love” means enmeshment and clinging coupled with an overpowering separation anxiety (fear of being abandoned).

Moreover, no amount of denials, chastising, threats, and even outright hostile actions convince the erotomaniac that the child is not in love with him. He knows better and will make the world see the light as well. The child and his guardians are simply unaware of what is good for the child. The paedophile determinedly sees it as his or her task to bring life and happiness into the child’s dreary and unhappy existence.

Thus, regardless of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the paedophile is convinced that his feelings are reciprocated – in other words, that the child is equally infatuated with him or her. He interprets everything the child does (or refrains from doing) as coded messages confessing to and conveying the child’s interest in and eternal devotion to the paedophile and to the “relationship”. http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/the-roots-of-paedophilia-t22900.html